Drops of Jupiter
by Naeryn
Summary: After years of studying and travel abroad, Makoto has returned to Tokyo, but her changes in behavior are leaving Ami confused. Can she figure out why Makoto has been acting so distant?


Title: Drops of Jupiter  
Author: Naeryn Stratford  
Disclaimer: Disclaimed.  
Author's note: Yes, this is a songfic. I wrote it ages ago, and am now posting it partially to garner reviews as inspiration for a new story I'm attempting to write, and partially so I can archive it in my website.

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Since she'd returned from school, Makoto seemed different. Where before she'd been angry, now she was calm. No less willing to fight, when necessary, and certainly as strong as she ever was. It was more that she didn't seem to feel the need to prove she was strong: she finally knew. Leaning back against her pillows, Ami sighed softly. And while Mako-chan had been out there, grabbing life by the horns, she'd been in the same place, in the same apartment, taking the same pre-med classes, seeing the same people every day for the past two years.

Something, too, seemed a bit more distant about Mako-chan. She'd been back for a week, and somehow, none of them had really connected. Ami was glad for her, happy to see that she seemed so much more comfortable with herself. She'd gained a feeling of peace and security. Of course, Ami lamented, that only drew her to the girl further, when she seemed, not to be pulling away, but to already be gone.

_Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey  
She acts like summer and walks like rain  
Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey, hey  
Since the return from her stay on the moon  
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey_

She smiled wistfully. Ami had always enjoyed her time with Makoto. They'd never had a whole lot of it, being busy with senshi business, school, and their other friends, but every now and then, they'd have an evening. Makoto would make dinner, and they would sit and talk about whatever came up. Together they'd built worlds, havens for girls like themselves, lacking in the kind of family both had secretly longed for all their lives.

Of course, there were the occasions when more serious matters cropped up. The day she'd told Makoto about her self-injury was one such time. Ami's eyes misted, recalling the gentle expression on her friend's face as she'd tearfully made her way through her confession, explaining the whys and hows. Makoto had understood immediately, of course. They were really very similar; Makoto merely expressed her hurt and anger outwardly, where Ami turned it in on herself.

She expected it would be much the same, were Makoto to get angry now. It just seemed far less likely, somehow.

_Tell me, did you sail across the sun  
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded  
And that heaven is overrated  
Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star  
One without a permanent scar  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there_

Standing outside, arms braced against the balcony, Ami cast her gaze up at the moon. Nearly full, and shining brightly. A bright smile formed between her cheeks as rain began to fall slowly from the nearly cloudless sky. Warm rain. It felt like a lover's caress on her face. She cherished the sensation, knowing it would fade too quickly.

Oh, how Ami missed those nights with Makoto. Closing her eyes, she let the rain drip over her. Perhaps it was time to bridge the gap that had grown between them. She smiled again, and went inside – but only to grab her jacket.

_Now that shes back from that soul vacation  
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey  
She checks out Mozart while she does Tai-Bo  
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey  
Now that she's back in the atmosphere  
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain old Jane  
Told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land_

Feet pounded rhythmically against the sidewalk. The sound echoed in Ami's head as she wondered. She'd barely spoken to Makoto since her return, the warmth of her hug contrasting sharply with the cool, unaffected tone of her voice. Would she welcome Ami's visit? Would she wish to be left alone, unbothered? What was she even going to say to her? "Hey, Mako-chan. I loved you before you left, and I love you even more now. Please don't hate me?" Somehow she didn't think that would go over well. Especially given some of the changes she'd noticed in Makoto. She would be hurt, of course, by Ami's thinking she could ever hate her. But the last thing that Ami wanted from Makoto was pity, which was what she was truly afraid that she would find.

_Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet  
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
And head back to the milky way  
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind  
Was it everything you wanted to find  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there_

It seemed to be no time at all before Ami was looking up the stairs along the outside of Makoto's building. As she strode up the stairs, she couldn't keep the strange, apprehensive smile from her lips. She rapped twice on the door and it swung open. That was quick – was Makoto waiting for someone?

"Ami-chan!" She smiled and gestured her inside. "What brings you out so late?"

Taking her customary seat on the couch, she braced herself. Her eyes lifted to Makoto's unusually – or what would have been unusual – serene face. "Did you miss me?"

"What?"

"Did you miss me? When you were away. Doing whatever it was you were doing – I know school was part of it, but that can't have been all there was. Did you think back to your friends here, wonder how we were doing? How I was doing?"

Makoto sat beside Ami on the couch and rested one hand on her shoulder, fixing her with a warm smile. Ami's heart skipped a beat. "Every day."

_Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken  
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong  
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone  
Conversation  
The best soy latte that you ever had… and me_

"You're right. It wasn't just school. I was gone for three years, Ami-chan. I spent my summers travelling. I saw so many things!" A faraway look came into her eyes, making them glisten. "Have you ever seen the sunrise from the Himalayan mountains? Ever been to Stonehenge? Have you walked all day straight, in one direction, just to see where it would take you?"

"I've wanted to, Mako-chan. I wish I could have been with you, through all of it." Ami sighed dejectedly and looked down at her lap. So much had changed… "I should probably go."

She stood, but Makoto's hand on her wrist stopped her from going too far. "Ami-chan. I learned several things in my time away." She looked up, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Please don't go. I need to talk to someone about this. Please, Ami."

Ami was nearly blown away; it was the first time she'd heard anyone save her mother dispense with any formality and refer to her in such familiar terms. Yet, from Makoto, she was willing to accept it. A tiny spark lit inside her. "Of course, Mako-cha… Makoto."

But tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet  
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
And head back toward the milky way

A smile broke on Makoto's lips. "I'm not what I thought I was, Ami. You've probably noticed that I'm not the same person that I was – I have a lot less anger at the world." She laughed. "When you stay in a Buddhist temple, you learn exactly what's important, and what is utterly meaningless. Why be angry at something I have no control over? Why be angry at my parents for leaving me so young, when I know, in my heart I know, that they never meant to?

"I learned so much about myself. I'm still adjusting to being back in the world, not just studying – be it books, or myself. I haven't meant to be cold to you, though I know I have."

Ami began to protest, but Makoto held up her hand, forstalling the girl's words. "No, Ami, let me finish. I'm not what I thought I was. I thought I wanted to be the demure housewife, with a husband and a son just like him and a daughter just like me." She shook her head. "That's not the life for me. I will find no happiness there."

_Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star  
One without a permanent scar  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself_

"Makoto…" Ami sighed. "I don't understand."

"I'm a lesbian, Ami. I'd suspected such for awhile, especially after meeting Haruka, but it took a long time for me to be certain. And I needed to be certain, before…"

"Before what, Mako?"

"Before this."

_And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?_

Makoto leaned towards Ami, her one hand, still on the other young woman's wrist, pulling her close. With infinite care, she placed her lips delicately against Ami's. She smiled against her soft mouth. Ami slid one hand up into Makoto's hair, pulling loose her high ponytail so she could entangle her fingers in the silky locks. Ami pulled away, breathless.

"Mako…"

The brunette merely laughed. "You think I didn't notice, Ami? I've seen you watch me out of the corner of your eye when you think no one's looking. I did the same to you." She smiled, running her hand over Ami's cheek – just like the rain. "I'd only hoped you hadn't found someone else while I was gone."

_And did you fall from a shooting star_

_Fall from a shooting star_

"There is no one else for me, Makoto. My love." She leaned forward, pressing her lips back against Makoto's, where they belonged. Then she turned, burrowing her shoulders deep into the woman's soft body. "Mmm…" she murmured. Home.

_And are you lonely looking for yourself out there?  
_

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_As always, reviews are loved!


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